5 Things You Can Do When Witnessing Racial Harassment
In a small, dark karaoke room 15 years ago, a white man with a microphone made a derogatory remark about Asian people to me.
Being the only person of color in the room, everyone turned and looked at me with dropped jaws. The shock paralyzed me. Did I really hear what I just heard?
“That’s not cool,” I finally was able to muster.
I quickly left with a couple friends.
“I can’t believe he said that.” That was the extent of the support I received.
I was still shaken about this incident when recounting it in therapy years later.
Why hadn’t anyone stepped in?
Why didn’t anyone say anything?
Why didn’t anyone make sure I was OK?
Since the initial incident, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect on what happened during this incident and this is what I’ve learned.
“Bystander apathy” or the “bystander effect” is a term coined in the 1960’s by social psychologists, John Darley and Bibb Latane, following the brutal murder of Kitty Genovese in New York City. While the initial reporting of Kitty Genovese has since been debunked, many psychologists today believe in the bystander effect. Bystander apathy occurs when the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency situation, against a bully, or during an assault or other crime.
People don’t take action for a variety of reasons. Some of them include fear, belief that they can’t make a difference, conviction that someone else will take action, or confusion about what to do.
In the last several years, and especially since the unjust death of George Floyd, numerous videos have surfaced on the internet where a person of color is being harassed by someone of a different race. Many of which have numerous bystanders standing idly watching the scene take place. Don’t assume that other people will step in. Be an active bystander.
2018 viral video of woman defending two Spanish-speakers getting harassed at Colorado Supermarket; Source: YouTube
According to several bystander intervention programs designed to de-escalate situations of harassment and potential assault, there are 5 things you can do if you witness someone being harassed. This list applies to all forms of harassment — verbal, physical or sexual.
When in doubt, support the target. Verbal harassment creates psychological trauma for the target and can also potentially escalate to become physically violent. Supporting the target demonstrates solidarity. Be a caring voice. Ask the target questions, such as “Is this person bothering you? Should I get help? Should we get out of here?”
Recruit and delegate. Most bystanders don’t know what to do so ask others for help. Find someone with authority or privilege in the situation. “Privilege” can include race, religion, gender, etc. For example, if the target is being harassed for speaking a different language, recruit others who speak the same language as the harasser. You can also find the manager of the establishment, security, or recruit other bystanders for assistance.
Directly address the harasser if you feel safe enough to do so. Be firm and clear when speaking up about the harassment. Examples of things to say are “This is inappropriate. Leave him/her alone.”
Distract. Most people don’t like confrontation. One simple way to help as a bystander is to distract the target by engaging them in conversation if they are not speaking up for themselves. Another effective way to distract without putting yourself in harm’s way is to create a commotion to take the attention of the harasser off of the target, such as dropping something loudly.
Document. Do this ONLY if the targeted person is already being supported. With cameras readily accessible on phones this is the easiest task but on the list which can be problematic if that’s all bystanders are willing to do. Make sure to note important landmarks, the date and time, and don’t share publicly without the consent of the target.
Bystander intervention can psychologically support the target, discourage the harasser, and possibly prevent future harassment. One person can make a difference. You can be that person.